Lawyer Advertising: The Good, the Bad, the Unusual

Plastic grenades alarm clients. That’s one of the examples in this interesting Dallas lawyer’s blog about some (U.S.) law firm marketing campaigns that pushed the envelope, perhaps a bit too far…

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  1. My favourite remains Two Bitches from Hell and a Short, Fat Guy whose website had pages labeled Practice (?) Areas, Agonized Clients, Sleazeball Lawyers, Suspicious Awards, Other Hokey Stuff, Join the Party, and Obnoxious Disclaimer.

    Here is what its pitch was:

    “Powers Phillips, P.C. [Professional Corporation] is a small law firm located in downtown Denver, Colorado within convenient walking distance of over fifty bars and a couple of doughnut shops. Powers Phillips also maintains a small satellite office-in-exile on the cow-covered hillsides near Carbondale, Colorado, where it puts out to pasture some of its aging attorneys. The firm is composed of lawyers from the two major strains of the legal profession, those who litigate and those who wouldn’t be caught dead in a courtroom.

    “Litigation lawyers are the type who will lie, cheat and steal to win a case and who can’t complete a sentence without the words ‘I object’ or ‘I demand another extension on that filing deadline.’ Many people believe that litigation lawyers are the reason all lawyers are held in such low esteem by the public. Powers Phillips, P.C. is pleased to report that only four of its lawyers, Trish Bangert, Tom McMahon, Tamara Vincelette, and JoAnne Zboyan are litigation lawyers, and only one of them is a man.

    “Lawyers who won’t be caught dead in a courtroom are often referred to in the vernacular as ‘loophole lawyers,’ underhanded wimps who use their command of legal gobbledygook to scam money from the unsuspecting, usually widows and orphans. Many people believe that such ‘loophole lawyers’ are the reason all lawyers are held in such low esteem by the public. Powers Phillips, P.C. is pleased to report that only four of its lawyers, Myra Lansky, Kathy Powers, Mary Phillips, and Jay Powers are such ‘loophole lawyers’ and one of them, Jay Powers, hardly does anything at all anyway so he doesn’t really count.

    “Lawyers who litigate and those who wouldn’t be caught dead in a courtroom get along like cats and dogs. So we have to keep them in separate groups, as much as possible. (Even so, litigators, being essentially dog-like, will often creep over into the other group, trying to get away with some of their goodies.)

    “Powers Phillips is somewhat peculiar in that three of its lawyers are, to put it most politely, uppity women, who through various shenanigans and underhanded schemes control the firm. However, this has not resulted in undue hardship on the male lawyers who are generously allowed a five minute coffee break every other day (so long as they continue to ponder client matters and continue billing accordingly).”

  2. Interesting. It has to be seen to be believed.

  3. While we’re on this subject, Cracked has an article today,
    The 5 Creepiest Defense Attorney Websites.

    In some cases here it seems they may have gone too far. But I also keep remembering that in the adversarial system, everyone needs competent counsel.