Birth-Wrap Agreement

We constantly see commentary on frivolous lawsuits, and cases that poke holes in limitation clauses in contracts of various types. Perhaps everyone should have some sort of basic understanding of who is responsible for what. So I propose (in jest of course) that everyone be subject to the following agreement.

By being born, you agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement, even you you have not, or can not, read them. 

You are responsible for your own actions. Stuff happens in life, and you should look to yourself before you blame others. 

Stuff will happen that may entitle you to compensation from others (subject to deductables and the understanding that a successful lawsuit will not be equivalent to a lottery win), such as buying a defective product, or if someone fails to live up to a promise that you relied on, or if someone breaches a duty of care they owe you. 

At the same time, don’t expect compensation if your problem results from you:

  • being the author of your own misfortune,
  • not paying attention,
  • doing something worthy of a Darwin award,
  • not taking reasonable steps to protect yourself,
  • failing the “it seemed like a good idea at the time” test.
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Comments

  1. Thank you! Can we get this in print? Stapled to foreheads, even? I discuss this topic weekly with friends, family, and colleagues alike. What a dream world it would be if everyone actually took responsibility for their own actions and the decisions they make?! Is it too much to ask for people to even try to think about the consequences of their choices? Granted, there’s a good chance we would lose some of the more entertaining business ventures and cases. However, the quality of civilized life would dramatically increase. Dare I say, utopia anyone?

  2. Christine Carron

    I am immediately forwarding this to my son and will add that it applies retroactively!