Book Review: It Burned Me All Down – by Erin Durant

I recently saw a General Counsel job ad where one of the criteria was to be, “stress-resistant”. I immediately thought that the person who wrote up the ad, was either an idiot or had grossly unrealistic expectations for the role. Sadly, there’ll be a stream of lawyers applying, all of whom will enthusiastically confirm that, not only are they “stress resistant”, they also “thrive under pressure”.

Sigh.

Chief Justice Strathy has written about the “destructive myth” of stress-resistant lawyers, and law societies across Canada have put out CPD programs and resources to combat this myth. Some law schools have also taken to adding seminars and materials on mental health to their curriculum.

Despite these efforts, the message still does not appear to be resonating; mental health issues continue to be something that happens “to other lawyers”.

I also see it in the eyes of my law students – they all believe that I’m talking to one of their “weaker” classmates, or that I’m just a jaded, angry lawyer stomping on their dreams. Afterall, they’ve been told how special they are just to get into law school – so of course they’ll be among those invincible successful lawyers.

I was at a loss on how to get through to the current generation of law students.

Then I found Erin Durant’s book, It Burned Me All Down. It could have been just another book on the mental health perils of legal practice – one that would be ignored.

But Erin’s book hits different.

Scott Fitzgerald is reported to have said, “You don’t write a book because you want to say something, you write a book because you have something to say.” And that’s what makes, It Burned Me all Down, so powerful. Erin definitely has something to say about lawyer mental health, about life in BigLaw Canada, and how to fix things.

She doesn’t mince words in connection with BigLaw’s largely phony claims that they care for their people.

Everyone is cashing their bonus cheques with no thought about the collateral damage…. burnout is an organizational and workplace problem… No amount of exercise, yoga, nutritious snacks, meditation, sessions on resilience from former Olympians [was going to help me].

However, It Burned Me All Down is not an angry, vengeful tell-all.

Erin’s raw and honest portrayal of a young female partner’s journey is incredibly compelling and well-written.

And her story arc is consistent with what many of us in the legal innovation community have been saying for years; for the majority of lawyers, BigLaw overhead is unnecessary and unhelpful. As Erin points out,

I did not rely on the firm marketing department. I seldom used the library resources beyond some key books that I could purchase on my own. I did not need a castle in the sky as an office. I did not need a billing clerk, an accounting department, a scanning clerk, a receptionist, an entire professional development department, or a social media coordinator…. I came to realize that the amount of overhead paid per lawyer in Big Law was irrelevant for my practice. What I needed was simple: laptops, a filing and docketing system, bank accounts, insurance, memberships in professional organizations, a freelance bookkeeper, a law clerk/assistant, and an associate lawyer. My start up costs were less than $10,000. My monthly overhead before salaries was about $5,000…..Why was I killing myself working in an unsustainable manner just to pay for massive overhead costs, none of which supported me in the ways I had needed?

And as Erin tweeted recently, “I left half my work at my old firm and somehow now have enough work to keep myself, two other lawyers, an articling student and a law clerk busy. No wonder I burned out.”

There is a misperception in legal circles that when lawyers move on from BigLaw it’s because they “couldn’t hack it”. But as Erin describes, it wasn’t the practice of law that adversely impacted her. It was the way she was forced to practice law; one that denied her control and contributed to work alienation:

Operating my own firm gave me control over my ultimate stressors: workload and staff support…. My mood and medical condition improved considerably the moment I started working for myself…. Just like that, I had more personal support than I did while a Big Law partner… [and] I realized that I absolutely love working from home. I dislike commuting. I missed having dinner with my husband. I hate wearing suit pants. I learned that it is possible to build a firm with people living in three cities separated by hundreds of kilometres and for us to feel more connected as a group than a law firm working in the same building.

Erin’s story should encourage more lawyers to view WFH/virtual practice as a viable and financially rewarding option – no matter the area of law. But for those who wish to stay in BigLaw, Erin also has some suggestions.

The truth is, millennial and Gen Z lawyers do not need much of what Big Law offers, and what we do need is being scaled back in an effort to reduce overhead and improve profits. Just give us some help with organization, some peace of mind, and let us go!….The lack of personalized support at the big firms will be their greatest challenge in the battle to retain millennial and Gen Z lawyers… [Firms will have to] do more than “just “check in” on people…A great way to battle the cynicism and disengagement that leads to burnout is to get people meaningfully engaged in the firm and their career. And by “engagement”, I am not talking about socials and pizza parties. Give people a meaningful role in the future of the firm, and they will have more loyalty to it.

Should all law students read, It Burned Me all Down, before they make any career decision? Yes.

Should family members cheerleading their kids into law school, read this book? And give a copy to those same kids? Yes, and yes.

Should lawyers going through what Erin went through read it? Yes.

Finally, is there hope for our profession if much more thought is put into how law is practiced? Yes.