The Wellness Lawyer: “Thawing Out”

As we start to come out of the winter season, I thought it was important to remind everyone that at times, there are friends and colleagues who are having a harder time shedding the heaviness of the dark winter months.

Recently I watched a commercial, where a man is sitting quietly at a football game in the midst of cheering and laughter from everyone around him. Let’s call him John. The person in the next seat, let’s call him Adam, is cheering loudly and tries to encourage John to participate and enjoy the game.

The action progresses to show that these two gentlemen see each other at numerous games at which Adam continues diligently to try and cheer John up.

At one point, Adam gives John a team scarf and tells him to keep it for future games. The last scene opens with John sitting alone and the seats beside him is empty. He places the scarf given to him by Adam on the empty seat.

The message…. One never knows what the person beside you is actually going through.

We assume from the commercial that John is the one dealing with something heavy, but in reality, it’s Adam, the person who is trying to help John, that is actually in dire need of help.

Many times, we see people who seem to have it all. They are the life of the party, successful, helpful, kind, surrounded by family and friends. However in reality, no one really knows what that person is dealing with.

Our profession does not allow us to be truly ourselves. We have been conditioned to put on our suits of armor and ensure that no one knows that we are suffering.

How many times have we heard from people that lawyers/ judges are supposed to be strong, without emotions and feelings, so that they can execute their duties in a neutral manner, in the best interest of the client, or justice.

How many times has anyone of you walked into court and immediately covered up any distress or suffering that was going on in your lives?

It’s a heavy burden to carry, but we have not yet erased the stigma of mental health that is plaguing our profession and not allowing us to be truly ourselves.

It is not easy when one is not able to share that they are going through difficulties just because the profession does not allow one’s humanity to be seen.

So in an effort to uplift you, I would like to encourage everyone to do two things.

The first is not to judge a book by its cover. Reach out to friends and colleagues who, despite seeming to be okay, are in reality in need of a friendly and honest conversation. They will never ask for help, but if you feel that something is off, just let them know that you are there for them if they want to talk.

The second thing is to slowly start shedding your own armour whenever possible, so that you can lighten your load and share with friends and colleagues the difficulties you may be going through.
When we share our experiences with others, we are indirectly helping those who are trepidatious to open up and share.

I am sure that you have all heard of Gandhi’s saying: “You must be the change you want to see in the world.” What if by reaching out to others and shedding our armor, we can help those around us feel more connected, happier, and less alone.

Wouldn’t that be a wonderful world.

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Disclaimer

The information in this article is not therapy, counseling, psychotherapy, psychoanalysis, mental health care/treatment, substance abuse care/ treatment, nor is it medical, psychological, mental health advice or treatment, or any other professional advice.

The information in this article is for information purposes only, and is not to be used as a substitute for therapy, counseling, psychotherapy, psychoanalysis, mental health care, medical care, or any other professional advice by legal, medical or other qualified professionals.

This article is for information purposes only and is not to be construed as legal opinion, legal advice, or any other professional advice in any respect.

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If you feel that you may need medical or other professional help, please contact your doctor or call 911 if it is an emergency.