The Wellness Lawyer: “The Gilded Age”

Recently I visited the Vanderbilt Mansion in Hyde Park, New York.

For those of you who are movie buffs and enjoy American history, Franklin Delano Roosevelt had his family estate there and returned to Hyde Park on a regular basis to relax and recharge.

In fact, the Vanderbilts and the Roosevelts were neighbors and their estates are now part of the New York State Parks.

The era to which these families belonged was called the Gilded Age. I had heard of this time period before, however I never really focused on its real meaning until the tour guide explained it in more detail.

Gilded refers to something that is covered in gold however the object itself is not real gold. Underneath the façade of glamour and glitz, there is a simple, ordinary object that pretends to be something that it is not.

In our daily lives, whether we want to admit it or not, we are putting on various personas depending on the task at hand. With clients and litigants, we need to act professional, calm and composed. In our personal lives we strive to be happy, collegial, funny, friendly etc…

At the end of the day, when we are alone or with very close family members, can we “wash off” the gilded paint of the roles that we had to play and finally be ourselves.

In reality, being who we truly are is what we all strive for. Anxiety, depression, addiction and other mental health issues creep up because we are not in balance or congruent with who we truly are.

Society has not as yet achieved a tolerance for people being who they truly are. A lawyer, who is compassionate and understanding, may be as not tough enough. A judge who smiles when they greet the public may not be seen as neutral or professional. A person who is sad and just wants some solitude to recharge is seen as unfriendly as strange.

How many judgments is society going to make before we all realize that each one of us has a special gift that adds to the beautiful mosaic of this world. Our professions should not define how we act, as long as we are respectful and kind. Our friends should not expect us to always be happy and jovial. Our family should not expect us to always be the problem solvers.

Shedding our gilded exterior to expose a beautiful, genuine, true interior, is the only way that we can start healing and bridging the gap between who we are expected to be and who we really are.

I invite you my friends, to scratch off some of that shiny paint, and show the world who you truly are. Step by step, bit by bit, I am certain that underneath all those personas, there are beautiful souls that glitter much more than gold.

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Disclaimer

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