The Wellness Lawyer: “How Are You?”

How many times have you asked someone , “ how are you?”

Similarly, how many times have you been asked the same question?

If we think about this, the question becomes very mundane and actually quite meaningless.

“How are you?” has become a customary greeting, wherein we don’t expect to receive or give a response that is more than “I am okay.

Recently, after being asked by a friend “how are you?” I realized in mid answer, that this person was not even listening to what I was saying.

I am certain that many of you have found yourselves in a similar situation.

As I pondered on this realization and how it made me feel, it became clear to me, that in a world that is lacking authenticity and the ability to be present in the moment, actually listening to the answer, may be a turning point which leads us back to meaningful human interaction.

So let me ask those who are reading this… How are you… truly?

Are you feeling overwhelmed in a world that seems to be running a race without a destination?

Are you lacking real human connection… the kind that feels safe, genuine, and non judgmental?

Are you craving emotional acceptance and being able to share your true feelings without fear of judgment and/or repercussion?

If so, then I want you to know that you are NOT alone.

Most people are not able to either express this or are too afraid to admit it.

So let me invite you to a safe space. Even if it’s just you and your journal for now. Just find those few moments to sit with yourself, or if you are lucky to have that one special friend or family member, and allow yourself to be authentic and free to vent, write, talk and connect with yourself.

It seems that technology with its constant demands of 24/7 availability is taking over the human need to recharge, disconnect and be present.

We were never meant to actually respond to calls and emails at all hours of the day or night. We were meant to work, play, rest, and repeat.

24 hours of every day were meant to consist of 8 hours of rest, 8 hours of work and 8 hours of play.

When you think about this time allocation, you are probably asking yourself, where do I have time to rest or play for 8 hours? How can I find these hours in my day when I am multitasking child or elder care, general family responsibilities, work, volunteer activities and a multiple “to do” list.

That is the dilemma in North American culture, but realistically speaking, people in other parts of the world have mastered this quite well.

In Europe there are three or four hour ‘lunch hours” where people go home and eat with their families, rest and recharge. Weekends are for family and relaxation. Vacation is at least four weeks per year.

In our culture, only some careers allow for such “luxury.” However this is not luxury, it is a necessity. Mental health professionals and advocates have been urging us to do this for years.

We were never meant to adjust to the 24/7 technological world and become human robots. We are meant to harness the technology and other innovation to create a more kinder, calmer and meaningful world.

Using technology to work smarter not harder is the key.

If we allow technology to dictate our evolution as human beings, the “human” part of our existence and interaction will actually one day disappear.

So next time you ask someone “how are you?” I would invite you to ask this only if you are ready to truly listen.

When you put away the phone, shut down the computer and other distractions , you can show others that you are present and willing to bring humanity into the conversation.

Who knows… maybe if all of us start to practice really listening to the answer, we will begin to feel connected to our fellow human beings.

This in turn will lead to feeling safe sharing our own feelings and emotions with those asking us “how are you?”

The next transformation will then lead to people accepting the fact that sharing emotions and feelings is humanity and not weakness, which will finally create a world with more acceptance, love, compassion and permanent eradication of the pandemic of mental health issues.

Wishing you all much success in finding and expressing you true selves.

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Disclaimer

The information in this article is not therapy, counseling, psychotherapy, psychoanalysis, mental health care/treatment, substance abuse care/ treatment, nor is it medical, psychological, mental health advice or treatment, or any other professional advice.

The information in this article is for information purposes only, and is not to be used as a substitute for therapy, counseling, psychotherapy, psychoanalysis, mental health care, medical care, or any other professional advice by legal, medical or other qualified professionals.

The information in this article shall not be recorded, copied or distributed.

If you feel that you may need medical or other professional help, please contact your doctor or call 911 if it is an emergency.