The Wellness Lawyer: “Breaking Through the Noise”

I recently watched a series on Netflix, called Truth Be Told.

In one of the episodes, the main character tells a story about a time when she physically lost her voice due to trauma she experienced in foster care.

Losing one’s voice is something that is not new to those going through the system whether judicial or otherwise.

I have heard so many self represented litigants say that they don’t have a voice; that they are not being heard; that no matter how hard they prepare they are drowned out by the complicated and bureaucratic machine of the legal system. It could be opposing counsel, the complex web of rules that one needs to follow, the use of sharp practices, or the inability to afford legal counsel that make the process insurmountable in many instances.

The super human strength it takes to manage one’s own case is truly a feat in and of itself. The reason we have lawyers representing us in court is the need to have a calm voice speaking on our behalf that will take the emotion out of the equation and present the case in a manner that will fit within the parameters of the law.

Representing oneself however, requires the individual to put aside all of the multidimensional human emotions and present one’s case as though they are not the main character of the unfolding drama.

As we all know, this is an impossible task, yet thousands of individuals do this every day, because they do not have a choice.

So how does one move forward in this contradictory role? How do you make yourself heard and how do you break through the noise of all the factors that are trying to overpower you?

The answer is not simple; however I will try to offer some suggestions which may help reduce the stress of one’s legal journey.

1. It is important to understand that a legal argument does not have room for emotional content. The judge in most cases does not make a ruling based on emotional grounds, no matter how much they sympathize with your case. The decisions must be based on the rule of law. So when you are preparing for court, do your best to imagine that you are now wearing the “hat” of an advocate, who must be clear, concise, calm and respectful. This will allow the court to better understand your position and actually hear your voice. You may want to say to yourself that for the next several hours while you are in court, you will try to put aside the emotions that are part of your case, as do your best to present the case in an objective and neutral fashion. Easier said than done. So what do you do when emotions start overpowering you? The next point may offer some help.
2. It is only human for emotions to creep in during a long day of waiting and presenting your case. Nerves, fear of the outcome and sheer exhaustion will make it difficult to keep your composure no matter how hard you try. In those moments it may be a good idea to have a toolbox of stress reducing techniques that will allow you to become more centered and continue with the day. For example, doing some short meditations and breathing exercises as a part of your daily routine will allow you to return to a more balanced state on the day when you really need it. Learning how to calm your nervous system by doing these practices on a daily basis, will train your body to initiate a calming response when stress is overwhelming. You may also want to ask for a short recess if the process becomes too much. Most judges understand that it’s very hard to be a self represented litigant and they will allow a short recess so that you can regain your balance. It is also very helpful to have a support person with you in court either to take notes or just be there so that you do not feel alone and overwhelmed.
3. Doing a practice run, which would involve going to see the court before the hearing date and watching court proceedings to see how court is conducted takes away the unknown aspect of the day. This allows you to be familiar with the court location itself, the courtroom, where you would be expected to stand, and the process itself.
4. Finally, having a self care routine after court is really important to ensure that you can recharge after a long and depleting day. This may involve doing something that you really love, even if it’s for a mere half an hour. It could be going to get your favorite cup of tea or coffee with something deliciously sweet, or treating yourself to a nice lunch or dinner. Anything that will release the stress of the day and allow the stress hormone levels to decrease, will help in creating more balance and re-energize you for the next day.

The above are only a few of the numerous ways that one can use to reduce stress. Each person has their own routine that works for them. The key is to ensure that you create a routine for the duration of the litigation process and beyond that will allow you to recharge, reenergize and create balance in your daily life.

Litigation is only one part of your life. Eventually it will be over, and you will need to be healthy both mentally and physically to continue on with your life. It may seem now like the process is all consuming; however, the key to surviving this process is to ensure that you are not swallowed up by it. The only way to do this is to have sufficient resilience, mentally and physically to overcome the obstacles that are thrown at you every day. That requires a stress management plan that will compliment your litigation plan, and ensure that your voice is heard not only in the litigation storm but when the waters will be calm.

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Disclaimer

The information in this article is not therapy, counseling, psychotherapy, psychoanalysis, mental health care/treatment, substance abuse care/ treatment, nor is it medical, psychological, mental health advice or treatment, or any other professional advice.

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