But Was Her Majesty Alarmed?

From today’s news of import (:-P)

Noisy British lover admits anti-social sex

LONDON (AFP) – A British woman admitted Tuesday breaching an anti-social behaviour order by having noisy sex.

Caroline Cartwright was served with a civil order over marathon romps with husband Steve, described in court as “unnatural” and “like they are both in considerable pain.”

…

And on Tuesday Cartwright pleaded guilty at Newcastle Crown Court to violating the order three times in April.

We must not, of course, conclude from this that the Caroline and Steve had sex only 3 times in April.

For those who must know, but don’t, the significance of the title to this piece is that it is a crime in Canada (and I assume the U.K.) to “alarm” Her Majesty. The Canadian section says nothing about Her Corgis, or horses.

Criminal Code, s. 49

Acts intended to alarm Her Majesty or break public peace
49. Every one who wilfully, in the presence of Her Majesty,
(a) does an act with intent to alarm Her Majesty or to break the public peace, or
(b) does an act that is intended or is likely to cause bodily harm to Her Majesty,
is guilty of an indictable offence and liable to imprisonment for a term not exceeding fourteen years.
R.S., c. C-34, s. 49.

You wouldn’t make this stuff up … unless you were writing for Monty Python.