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Snails
I spent some time up at the law school today and learned a new acronym — one new to me, at least: Snails.
It stand for “Students not actually in law school” and means to describe those insignificant others who hang about the halls and cafeterias drinking proto-lawyer coffee and generally scuffing up the court-like slate. Evidently Snails are allowed in the law library and will sometimes bother librarians with reference questions.
Nothing quite like a lawyer wannabe, is there?
I recall just such a student from my first year at McGill Law, though this one took it farther than most. He showed up at orientation, passed himself off as a law student, and proceeded to attend classes for half the semester before the truth was discovered. He was even listed in the law student telephone directory, and rumour has it that he completed some of the legal research assignments. All in all, an impressive feat.
hi, i chanced upon your blog when i googled snails & law. I’m quite surprised to see that your country is having the SAME problem as us in Singapore.. haha. We use SNAILS in law school here too
SNAILS OFFENCES ACT
1. Short Title
This statute may be read as the Snails Offences Act.
2. Interpretations
In this act,”Snails” means Students not actually in law school”law school’s facilities” and “premises” pertain to, but are not limited to, the [insert library name] Law Library (henceforth known as “the library”), the Law Classrooms, and the tables around the law faculty.
3. Definition of SNAILS
Any person who uses or abuses the premises of law school for his enjoyment without giving priority to Lawyers is a SNAIL.
Explanation
use and abuse includes, but is not limited to, studying, playing games, occupying space, squatting and is not limited to disruptive behaviour covered under s. 5 of this act.
Illustration 1
X is in arts but does not use the facilities of law school. X is not a snail.
Illustration 2Y is a science student. Y walks past the law library, and enters through the main doors. Y is not a snail until she sits down on one of the chairs, after which she is a snail.
Illustration 3
Z is an engineer. Z sleeps in the law library and starts snoring; he is a snail and he is guilty of every offence in this act.
4. Infringing the personal right to enjoyment of Law School facilitiesAny Snail who infringes upon the personal right of a lawyer to the enjoyment of law school’s facilities, thus depriving him of the use of the facilities is guilty of an offence, subject to the following exceptions listed in s. 6 of this act.
Illustration
A is a lawyer, and leaves his belongings in a classroom for the sole purpose of reserving its use for his enjoyment. Another lawyer B is denied the use of the classroom. A, being a lawyer, is not guilty under this clause.
4A. Penalty for infringing right to enjoymentThe penalty for this offence is subject to the discretion and pleasure of any lawyer whose right is infringed by that snail.
5. Disruptive Behaviour of SnailsDisruptive behaviour is any conduct of a snail that reasonably causes a lawyer to lose concentration, his temper, or causes frustration, irrespective of whether the frustration was uncalled for or otherwise, while that snail is guilty of s. 4 of this act.
5A. Any Snail who exhibits disruptive behaviour while infringing the right of a lawyer is subject to the derision of any lawyer, and the discretion of any lawyer in the vicinity.
6. Exceptions
No snail is guilty of an offence if
(a) that snail is a babe, and does not deny a lawyer access to use of facilites, or
(b) that snail is a companion to any lawyer, subject to reasonableness
Illustration
(a) Kristin Kreuk is in one of the classrooms. She allows any lawyer to enter and use the classroom and any article belonging to the classroom, up to and including the chair she might be sitting on. Kristin Kreuk is a Snail, but satisfies the requirements under exception 6(b) and she is not guilty of any offence under this act. For the purposes of this act, Kristin Kreuk is a babe.
(b) Ronald McDonald and a lawyer walk into the library. Ronald McDonald’s shoes are making alot of noise, disturbing the peace of every lawyer in the library. He is a snail and is guilty of an offence inasmuch as he is companion to the lawyer but did not satisfy the test of reasonableness.
I don’t find ‘snails’ annoying. Disruptive students, sure, but people studying in the library quietly? Who cares?