5 Legal Reasons Santa Answers to No Geo-Political Authority

1. Border crossings would delay his delivery. Imagine Santa explaining himself to a border guard/customs agent.

2. Reduces product liability risk for any defective toys.

3. Avoids scrutiny of privacy issues of the naughty/nice list.

4. Avoids pressure by toy lobbyists and sympathetic legislators.

5. Makes it easier to protect his trade-secrets for sleigh innovations, home entry techniques, and apparent mastery of space and time.

Comments

  1. We just debated this on our podcast – “Up on the Housetop: the Risks for Santa” – Santa decided to ignor any possible legal complications.

  2. Canada, the U.S., Russia, Denmark and Norway are all laying jurisdictional claim to Santa’s home, and sorting out the conflicting legal systems have proven a mess.

    He’s wanted for questioning for tax evasion, and nobody is quite sure why there are no export tarrifs on his goods.

    Human rights groups have protested that his secret “workshop” actually depends on sub-standard work conditions and a captive ethnic minority workforce. There have been reports that Santa has illegally discouraged the unionization of his elves.

    A company in the U.K. is claiming that they own the “Santa Claus” trademark. Despite protests by experts that it’s already part of the public domain, the U.S. Patent and Trade Office added the term in 2000 to a list of recognized trademarks. Older establishments, including a St. Nick, are also laying claim to the name. Separate claims are also pending for patent infringements on digital wishlists.

    Santa is also wanted for questioning for allegedly breaking and entering into several million homes in violation of s. 348 of the Criminal Code. Although there is preliminary evidence indicating that Santa may have actually left the premises with less than what he entered with, a presumption exists in sub (2) that he had the intent to commit an indictable offence.

    Due to the tough economy there has been a scarcity of cookies and milk, prompting Santa to allegedly break into a grocery store in Newfoundland. The RCMP are looking for witnesses.

    The public remains highly sympathetic to Santa, and his defenders are claiming that he suffers from obesity, type 2 diabetes, clinical depression and may even have a drinking problem.

    Considering all his problems, it appears as if Santa may require immediate legal counsel. He doesn’t have much liquid assets, so you may have to settle for a gift as compensation, even if it’s just a black piece of coal.

    Any takers?