In Re Lionel Hutz: Vote for Your Favourite Simpsons Law Quote

In my defence, I had no idea what I was starting.

When I published a blog post recently about lawyers’ tendency to wear too many hats in law firms, I thought it would be amusing to name the post (and the tendency) after a quote from The Simpsons. Furthermore, when promoting the post on Twitter, I (perhaps rashly) called the quote “the greatest line in the show’s history.”

That assessment did not pass unchallenged. Canadian legal types Alison Crone, Colin Lachance, Ava Chisling, and Julie Sobowale all chimed in with their nominees. “Well,” I said carelessly,

“Challenge accepted,” Colin replied, and before you could say “Hail ants,” he had set up a 64-entry tournament-style bracket, solicited our nominees, and published this truly remarkable website where you can consider head-to-head matches of great Simpsons quotes and cast ballots for your favourite. The Round of 64 is now underway, and voting is still open. (Scroll down to find the actual voting section.)

But that’s not why we’re here. We’re here, at Canada’s online legal magazine, because when five lawyers put together a Simpsons quote bracket, one of the regions can — nay, must — be entirely law-related lines. When a TV show gifts you an iconic legal figure like Lionel Hutz, you must honour that gift.

So, damn our oily hides, we’ve reproduced right here in this blog post (because they have the internet on computers now) the 16 Simpsons law quotes now engaged in a battle supreme. Cast your ballots now! And remember, it makes no difference which candidate you vote for — either way, your planet is doomed! Doooooomed!


  1. First round results now posted and second round voting underway