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Reconciling the Need for Empathy With Low EQ

Several of my posts this year have focused on the importance of plain language for our profession. Good, clear communication is a vital component of client management as it helps us better understand our client’s needs and enable the client to make informed decisions. On the other hand, poor communication is a leading cause of professional liability claims against lawyers.

Understanding who your audience is and ‘stepping into their shoes’ is a key. In my last post, Good Communications: Don’t Forget Generational Considerations, I focused on the impact of generational differences and preferences. This is only one factor when sizing up your audience. Truly understanding their communications needs requires empathy and unfortunately many of us may need work in this area.

As the article “Empathy for Legal Professionals[i] states:

Effective communication is crucial in the legal profession, and empathy can significantly contribute to it. When lawyers empathise with their clients, they not only listen attentively but also seek to understand their emotional state and perspective. This understanding allows lawyers to tailor their communication style, ensuring that legal jargon is explained in a way that is easily comprehensible. Empathic lawyers tend to be better communicators, leading to improved client satisfaction and collaboration.

Strong emotional intelligence is needed to be an empathetic communicator. Being emotionally intelligent is “being in tune with, and managing your and other’s emotions. Examples for a lawyer might be: understanding a client’s state of mind to gauge what questions to ask and what information to give (and how to give it).”[ii] However, studies indicate that lawyers may generally score lower in emotional intelligence than the general population. For example:

While lawyers score well above the national average (115-130) in IQ, they score below the national average in emotional intelligence, as measured by the Mayer Salovey Caruso Emotional Intelligence Test© (MSCEIT)©. * Their lowest sub-score in this four-part assessment is in the first branch—accurately perceiving their own and others emotions, while their highest subscore is the third branch, understanding emotions, a more cognitive ability. Unfortunately, this means that while lawyers are able to competently reason about emotions and their implications, the emotional data that they are analyzing day in and day out is likely to be incomplete or inaccurate—lawyers are likely to be misreading what they themselves or others are feeling. The result is that lawyers are more likely than non-lawyers to be caught off guard by a disgruntled client, an overwhelmed associate or an angry partner, or even by their own powerful reactions.[iii]

But there is hope. Emotional intelligence is a skill that can be learned or honed. Here are a few steps I’ve taken to improve my own emotional intelligence and in turn, become a better communicator:

  1. Understand the importance: Empathy and emotional intelligence are essential lawyering skills. If you aren’t convinced by the short summary above, check out the following articles that stress the importance:
  2. Assume there’s room for improvement: It’s easy to think that because we are a fairly intelligent bunch, we are also in tune with the emotions of others. There are online tests you can take to determine your emotional intelligence, but consider instead working to improve your skills in the area no matter what score you may receive. If your law society offers training, take it. If they haven’t, request it. The Peter A. Allard School of Law also has numerous emotional intelligence resources
  3. Try learning something outside your field: I recently completed the Canadian Risk Management (CRM) Designation. This involved new lingo, new ways of thinking and unnecessarily complicated textbooks. Outside of the course materials, the biggest takeaway was how difficult it must be for those outside the legal profession to understand us. It was humbling and eye-opening. A crash course in risk management and empathy.

In 2025, really take the time to consider whether you have empathy and well-developed emotional intelligence. Being aware of the need and understanding it may not be something that comes easy to us is half the battle.

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[i] Peter Sear, “Empathy for Legal Professionals”, online: <Psychology Today> https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/empathic-minds/202312/empathy-for-legal-professionals#:~:text=When%20lawyers%20empathise%20with%20their,way%20that%20is%20easily%20comprehensible.

[ii] American Bar Association, “Why Lawyers Need To Be Taught More About Emotional Intelligence”, online: https://www.ibanet.org/article/bc769d24-a76e-447a-aff1-fd92903bbd60#:~:text=As%20Hsu%20says%2C%20being%20emotionally,and%20how%20to%20give%20it)

[iii] Ronda Muir, “The Unique Psychological World of Lawyers”, online: https://www.lawpeopleblog.com/files/2016/05/LPM-Unique-Psychological-World-of-Lawyers.final_.pdf.

[iv] Heather Heavin & Michalea Keet, “Client-Centered Communication: How Effective Lawyering Requires Emotional Intelligence, Active Listening, and Client Choice”, 22 Cardozo J. Conflict Resol. 199 (Winter 2021).

[v] American Bar Association, “How Emotional Intelligence Makes You A Better Lawyer”, online: https://www.americanbar.org/news/abanews/publications/youraba/2017/october-2017/how-successful-lawyers-use-emotional-intelligence-to-their-advan/

[vi] Kristin B. Gerdy, “The Heart of Lawyering: Clients, Empathy, and Compassion”, online <Duke Law School> https://web.law.duke.edu/sites/default/files/clinics/healthjustice/gerdy_-_the_heart_of_lawyering_clients_empathy_and_compassion.pdf

[vii] International Bar Association, “Why Lawyers Need to Be Taught More About Emotional Intelligence”, online: https://www.ibanet.org/article/bc769d24-a76e-447a-aff1-fd92903bbd60

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