Building EQ With Therapeutic Communication

In my last post, Reconciling the Need for Empathy with Low EQ, I stressed the importance of empathy for effective communication. Empathetic lawyers can understand their client’s emotional state and perspective, allowing them to tailor their communication style and explain legal jargon in a comprehensible way. This results in higher client satisfaction and likely less errors.

Strong emotional intelligence is needed to be an empathetic communicator. However, studies show that many lawyers, me included, don’t naturally have high emotional intelligence. This is a skill that can be learned and honed, but how exactly?

In my quest for self-improvement I’ve looked outside our profession and found the work in the medical profession with therapeutic communication resonates with me. As noted in Professional Communication Skills for Health Studies[i], therapeutic communication is “at the foundation of the health professional-client relationship …. It is intended to develop an effective interpersonal health professional – client relationship that supports the client’s well-being and ensures holistic, client centred, quality care”.

Therapeutic means “having a restorative and healing effect on the mind and body and doing it no harm”[ii]. The goal is not only to ensure we understand our client’s needs and convey the appropriate information, but to provide a safe space to build trust and enhance recovery. This is accomplished by:

• Treating clients professionally by respecting boundaries and listening nonjudgmentally;
• Addressing communication barriers and respecting clients’ personal and cultural beliefs; and
• Noticing clients’ health literacy and ensuring they understand.

Therapeutic communication techniques, reworked to apply to the legal profession, include:

• Empathy vs. Sympathy: The goal is to be more empathetic communicator. As noted in The Difference Between Empathy and Sympathy[iii]:

Empathy is shown in how much compassion and understanding we can give to another. Sympathy is more of a feeling of pity for another. Empathy is our ability to understand how someone feels while sympathy is our relief in not having the same problems.

Rather than saying “I’m sorry this happened to you” state “This was a difficult time for you. Tell me how you are coping”.

• Broad Opening Remark: Start the conversation with a broad question that gives the client the freedom to choose what they wish to discuss. For example, “Please tell me more about yourself” or “Please tell me about what brings you here today”. Let them talk without interruption. This may require patience, but remember this may the first opportunity for the client to really feel they’ve been heard.
• Permission Statements: This is a tip that I had not contemplated before. For particularly difficult conversations, consider opening the conversation with a statement/question that suggests to the client that an experience or feeling is normal. For example, “Clients involved in civil litigation often have questions about the process. What if any questions do you have for me?”.
• Open-Ended Questions: Encourage the client to fully explain what they see as important in the situation rather than shut them down with yes or no questions. Examples include “Tell me more about the damage the accident caused”.
• Ask One Question at a Time: Make it simple for the client to provide clear, direct answers. Don’t overwhelm the client by peppering them with all the questions you want answered at once.
• Avoid Passing Judgment with ‘Why’ Questions: Why questions can feel like a demand for the client to explain themselves. They may be viewed as judgmental or victim-blaming and the client may be left feeling like you’re an adversary rather than a supporter. Rather than ask “Why did you take that route home?” reframe as “You took a different route that night. What was on your mind?”
• Silence: Allow for uncomfortable silence in the conversation and don’t fill the void with your words. Give the client time to process their emotions and find their own words. If need be, reassure the client by saying “It’s okay, take your time”.
• Show They’ve Been Heard: Once the client has concluded their story, paraphrase, summarize and share observations. Use phrases like “From what I hear you saying, the most important result for you is getting compensated for lost wages due to the accident”, “I notice you were unable to work for several months following the accident. Were you in pain?”, and “You stated that following the accident you had pain in your lower back that radiated down your leg. Is that right?”

When reviewing therapeutic communication techniques, I was struck by how many are similar to the good communication tips we recommend like using plain language and active listening. The techniques may not be substantially different, but framing the approach in a therapeutic manner assists me to think of each interaction as not just a fact-finding mission. It is an opportunity to build the trust necessary to perform our job and facilitate a more trauma-formed practice. See the great work by Myrna McCallum for more information on trauma-informed lawyering.

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[i] Andrea Cute, Sharon Johnston & Brandi Pawliuk, “Professional Communication Skills for Health Studies” online: <McEwan University library> https://openbooks.macewan.ca/professionalcommunication/chapter/6-9-communication-strategies/#:~:text=Therapeutic%20communication%20techniques%20are%20specific,values%2C%20skills%2C%20and%20abilities.

[ii] Ibid.

[iii] Psychiatric Medical Care, “The Difference Between Empathy and Sympathy” online: https://www.psychmc.com/empathy-vs-sympathy/#:~:text=The%20Differences%20Between%20Empathy%20and%20Sympathy,-Now%20that%20we&text=Empathy%20is%20shown%20in%20how,not%20having%20the%20same%20problems.