The Wellness Lawyer: “Kindness”
I recently watched a movie, and one of the characters, who was bullied, made a very poignant statement.
She said: “If the person who bullied me decided not to be mean, his life would not have changed… however, my life would have been profoundly different.”
It struck me, that those who are unkind, would not lose anything by being kind. In fact, many benefits are derived from showing kindness to others.
However, as we all know, the person who is on the receiving end of the bullying or unkindness, is affected in ways that reverberate for years, and at times, without some sort of intervention, throughout their whole lives.
In law, we are taught to be strong and stoic. Kindness is not the first thing that comes to mind when we speak about lawyers. We are taught the major skills in law school such as research, advocacy, and substantive law, which someone determined are the core competencies of being a lawyer. However, in my view, a very important skill was not included. That skill is kindness.
In fact, kindness is something that no one needs to teach a person. Kindness is innate and if the environment allows it, then it will flourish. If we were allowed to be our true selves and lead with kindness, we would be more successful and happy both at work and at home. We would be more compassionate with clients and colleagues. We would not have the burden of wearing a mask of stoicism and non-emotive mannerisms. We would just be ourselves… just human beings, doing our best to live a life that brings joy to others and ourselves.
Scientific research has demonstrated that having more compassion and kindness in the workplace, results in less sick days, and a feeling of belonging. Happiness at work, improves the quality of the work product, and creates a cohesive team. Satisfaction at work overflows into our personal lives, giving us more energy and patience to have more meaningful relationships with partners, children and family.
Being kind does not stop with work and personal life satisfaction. Its effects permeate the recesses of our minds and results in better mental health.
For many years, mental health issues has been an ongoing theme for lawyers. There is a very high rate of burnout, anxiety, depression, addiction in the legal profession. It is actually a mental health crisis , which only recently has been acknowledged. The solutions are slowly being put in place, but the status quo is not easy to dislodge.
I am not trying to suggest that there is a simple solution to the mental health crises in law. The accepted norm of how lawyers should act will take many years disappear, so that a new normal can emerge. It’s not easy to strip the amour and “lawyer” persona so that the human being is revealed. However, just by starting to change the narrative and to including kindness and compassion within the legal field, healing and transformation will start to emerge.
Going Forward
So, if you are a lawyer or paralegal, please consider starting something new in your workplace. Here are some suggestions.
- Make a point to say something kind to your colleagues and staff.
- Smile.
- Say thank you.
- Acknowledge the work that is being done by your colleagues and staff.
- Act in a way that you would have wanted your colleagues or boss to act.
By doing just one kind act per day, will create a ripple effect of goodness and kindness throughout your workplace and will overflow into personal lives of those whom you uplifted that day… not to mention, how wonderful it will make you feel
Try it. I would love to hear from our readers, as to how these small acts of kindness made you and others feel.
____________________
DISCLAIMER
The information in this article is not therapy, counseling, psychotherapy, psychoanalysis, mental health care/treatment, substance abuse care/ treatment, nor is it medical, psychological, mental health advice or treatment, or any other professional advice.
The information in this article is for information purposes only, and is not to be used as a substitute for therapy, counseling, psychotherapy, psychoanalysis, mental health care, medical care, or any other professional advice by legal, medical or other qualified professionals.
This article is for information purposes only and is not to be construed as legal opinion, legal advice, or any other professional advice in any respect.
The information in this article shall not be recorded, copied or distributed.
If you feel that you may need medical or other professional help, please contact your doctor or call 911 if it is an emergency.
So very true. Kindness does not make you a weak advocate
Thank you for this much needed article and perspective. It is my personal experience that for all the talk about mental health and making space for people who are kind and caring in the profession, there are few consequences for bullying, even bullying that happens out in the open, and representatives of the Law Society were either unable or unwilling to effectively assist without a formal complaint or process and did not have a healthy understanding of a conflict of interest. Formal complaints and processes become adversarial and destructive and so are not real options without paying a heavy price.